portfolio-letter

Dear Writing Department,
The first day I received my long awaited grading rubric back, I had a few choice words I wanted to tell Craig, but held my tongue. Here I had spent a good portion of my week revising the first essay and finally turned it in, with the hopes of receiving at least an 85. But that wasn't the case. Looking down at my paper I saw a score I really wasn't proud of, and didn't feel reflected the time and effort I had put into it. This was a long time ago. And these feeling towards Craig were defiantly out of ignorance. See, I started out my time in writing 101 as a high school running start student, unaware of the major differences between high school writing, and college level writing. And boy, I’ll tell you I was in for a rude awakening!

The difference I learned between high school writing and college writ ting were, that I actually had to sound like myself. As Craig put it, Stop sounding like writing is an out of body experience and you are some robotic, generalizing...! You get the point. It may seem weird to those that haven't been in a high school writing class for quite some time. But to be honest, in high school a person’s supposed to sound like some robot who's reciting Webster’s dictionary. Hell, as long as you have five paragraphs, some fancy words and a catchy title, you've got yourself an A. I used to pop out papers such as those like a toaster, and called it a day. But as I came to find out college rubrics had strange new things called hooks, thesis, description, and organization, just to name a few. These are some of the critical writing strategies that comprise college level writing. I started out my time in writing 101 oblivious of those components. They were defiantly my weaknesses. But after much hard work, practice and help from a great instructor, I finally feel I have reached a level in writing 101 that I can be very proud of.

The essays included in my portfolio are the ones I feel demonstrate my strengths as a writer the most. These include essay number three and essay number four. It has taken me three essays to do it, but I finally feel I have turned my weaknesses I mentions above, into my overall strengths. The title to my third essay was "A march for equality". Unlike my previous essays, "A march for equality" started out with a good hook, followed with a strong thesis, rhetoric strategies and organization. I felt like I sounded less robotic and more like myself, mainly because I was arguing my point, and was interested in my topic. One example that I feel demonstrate my use of a good hook is, "Love has no gender. "There I’m finished!" Shouted Bella as she added the final touches to the poster. "That looks fantastic!" Exclaimed Kellie in excitement. They gathered their things and headed out of their townhouse and into their car. The couple was off to Downtown Seattle where the 2008 march for gay marriage was being held." My intro is a narrative. I did this so that it would draw in the reader and give them a clear picture of what the argument was, that I later discuss. The other skill I demonstrated well was a clear thesis. An example of this is in my third paragraph, "I firmly believe that marriage should not be restricted to only male and female couples." This is clear and to the point, and is defiantly arguable. Which I feel made it a good thesis.

My fourth essay also shows areas I believe are my strengths. My title for essay four is, "Text messaging; A teenage epidemic!" This essay shows my use of many rhetoric strategies, an example of this is the anecdote I use in paragraph five line six. Here I tell a story that emphasizes my point that texting and driving is very dangerous, it demonstrates my point that texting has more negative affects then positive ones. Another strength that I feel is shown in this essay is my appeal to emotion. An example of this is quote, "Just think, Innocent children could be riding their bike on the side walk, unaware that some negligent teenager may come swerving into them while sending an unimportant text!" Throughout this essay, I use appeal to logic, emotion, rhetorical questions, and a clear thesis. These are areas I used to be very bad at, and now feel are my strengths.

Over all I chose these essays because I am proud of the growth they demonstrate, in comparison to the way I started out. In the first few essays I never had strong thesis, description or other rhetoric strategies. I feel essay three and four demonstrate these writing skills and many more that I have developed over time in writing 101. In the beginning of writing 101 I started out as an ignorant writer, unaware of all the elements it take to compose a well writ ting essay. I had many weaknesses in this category. I feel the two essays in my portfolio; demonstrate how I have transformed my weaknesses into strengths which make me very proud.

Thank you for your time. I hope you enjoy reading this portfolio.

Sincerely,
Amber Caughron

portfolio- choice: essay 3

March to equality"

http://flickr.com/photos/juli-p/3033598296/

Love has no gender. "There I’m finished!" Shouted Bella as she added the final touches to the poster. "That looks fantastic!" Exclaimed Kellie in excitement. They gathered their things and headed out of their townhouse and into their car. The couple was off to Downtown Seattle where the 2008 march for gay marriage was being held. After the forty-five minute drive, which was filled with anticipation, they finally reached their desired destination. The couple parked their car and walked towards Pine Street where the march was taking place, armed with vibrant, meaningful signs. As they turned the corner, angry heterosexual couples were waiting like a brick wall, on the outskirts of the pro-gay marriage protesters. These anti-gay marriage protesters swarmed around them like angry bees jeering and yelling offensive slogans. A middle aged Caucasian man and wife thrust their joint hands with golden wedding bands in Kellie’s face and shouted, "This is what God intended, go home!" Bella and Kellie grasped hands, and slowly made their way through the barrier of the opposing crowd and finally entered the march with their fellow pro- gay marriage marchers. Bella looked towards Kellie and gave her a knowing smile. They had made it through the worst part and were excited for the rest of the day. They were in love after all and were ready to contribute in supporting the push for gay marriage.

This picture captures the enthusiasm and excitement of thousands of people protesting for the right of gay marriage. It was taken on a warm November day in Seattle , where tons of people marched and cried out in hope of overturning the laws restricting what they feel is their civil rights. Although the picture doesn't focus on the individual faces of each person it allows the viewer to see the power of numbers and the many colorful picket signs of the protesters. The first thing that catches my eye as I look at this picture is the white picket sign with the rainbow in the bottom center of the picture. Then I take in the amount of people fanning out to the top of the street, and last the center building that could possibly be a church or chapel. These three things show the main essence of the picture, which is, people fighting for their rights, and the controversial debate of gay marriage. The photographer of this piece is Julie P. The photo was taken at a protest in Seattle , Washington on November 15, 2008 ..

I firmly believe that marriage should not be restricted to only male and female couples. Like Bella and Kellie, there are many gay and lesbian couples that love one another and live together the same as any other couple. So why then should they not be able to wed like a normal couple? One common argument that is used to defend denying gays the right to marry is that "Marriage is for raising children, and since a gay couple cannot have children they shouldn't be able to marry." But if this is the case then shouldn't straight couples that are infertile be denied as well? People who use this argument against gays have a double standard. Straight older couples get married all the time and obviously cannot produce children any easier then a gay or lesbian couple. Also, although gays and lesbians cannot bear children the typical way, there are many other options such as artificial insemination, surrogate mothers and adoption. Also, many gay couples already have children through earlier involvements in a heterosexual relationship. Overall, it can be concluded that this argument that "marriage is for raising children" is weak and can be easily refuted. I think that having children is part of marriage but most importantly is the love that a couple shares.

A common question that arises among this issue is, "why is it important for gays to marry if they can still be in a relationship?" I think that it is very important for gays to be able to marry because it is a civil rights issue, and affects them in many ways. For example, Kellie and Bella have been together for seven years. They have bought a house together, share two cars and many other belongings. If anything were to happen to either one of them, even if they had a carefully drawn up will, these possessions can be taken by the family. Wills can be over turned by family members, and I have read that estates can be seized by family and sold, leaving the "surviving partner paying out mortgages." Another issue that arises from them not being able to marry is, hypothetically, if Bella were to get into a serious accident and ended up in the hospital, Kellie is not guaranteed the right to visit and/or make decisions regarding her treatment. The current law that hospitals follow makes it so that the family is in charge of who visits the victim. This is a major issue because if there is any tension between the partner and the victims family, the partner maybe excluded from the hospital. Wouldn't you want to be able to visit your loved one and put into place the crucial decisions you and your partner have discussed? There are many other rights that gay couples are being excluded from by not being able to wed. These can be life threatening and very harmful to the couple. They also leave enumerated financial and legal problems for gay couples.

Another common argument against gay marriage is that it will degrade the institution of marriage. To me, marriage is suppose to be between two people who love one another, are true to each other, and want to share the rest of their lives together. I feel like this combination can be found in any race, sex or age.. Who is to say that a man and a woman are the only ones that fill these roles? If people are worried about the sanctity of marriage they should take a look at the divorce rates, affairs and abuse that goes on in marriages. I think that excluding obviously loving couples from marriage is pointless and prejudice.

Other arguments against gay marriage include that the gay life style is not to be encouraged. This is the biggest load of crap. It has been proven that similar to how heterosexual people are attracted to one another, so are gay and lesbian couples. How can something that is natural be shoved under the rug and told to be ignored. Would any straight couple want to be told to ignore their feelings for the person they love? Why then would they do the same to a gay or lesbian couple? This is similar to the issue of bi-racial marriages some years ago. It is simply a matter of discriminating against a minority group, which to me is intolerable. Just because someone else’s lifestyle is different from there own, doesn't mean that a person has the right to discriminate against them.


There are also many benefits to gay marriage. One of these benefits includes child adoption. If gay marriage is to be legalized there would be more families adopting children, which would result in less homeless children.. I feel that this opportunity to provide stable, loving families for those children lacking proper homes is a great benefit. Another pro that would be a result from gay marriage is a decrease in aids and other sexually transmitted diseases. Andrew Sullivan wrote in The New Republic, "(Gay marriage) would also, in the wake of AIDS, qualify as a genuine public health measure. Those conservatives who deplore promiscuity among some homosexuals should be among the first to support it." The idea behind this is that if gays are allowed to marry there would be more long term relationships, which would result in slowing sexually transmitted diseases common to all sexualities.

Gay marriage is a very controversial debate that has many arguments on both sides. I feel it is very important to get educated about the issue because it is something that effects lots of peoples. What the issue boils down to is fear which is a result of a minority having different views from the majority. The majority is hetero sexual groups that feel intimidated by the idea of its social norms being reconstructed. But it is important to evaluate both sides and examine the good things that can come from this diverse issue. Overall I believe there are a lot of false beliefs that people against gay marriage have that come from ignorance. I hope that in the future our society will have more equality and equal rights offered to all orientations.

portfloio- essay 4

Text messaging; a teenage epidemic!

“iz txt1ng t@king ovr the t33n population?” Nowadays approximately 60 percent of all teens in the nation have a cell phone, as reported by U.S cellular statistics. Typically teens send about 188 or more texts per month and according to the article “Teen Driver Menace: Text-Messaging Studies Show Texting While Driving Is Epidemic” this distraction is becoming very dangerous on the roads. Steve Vogel, the author of this article stresses the dangers of multi tasking at the wheel by such means as text messaging. Shockingly Vogel explains that texting while driving is right up there with driving under the influence. The main point of his essay is to educate the reader about the hazards of text-driving and make a call to action in respect to stopping this neglect act, which has taken the lives of many in our society.
Another common opinion about texting is that it is affecting the English language. “The Hazardous Effects of Text Messaging” by Corinne Love declares that text messaging is “negatively affecting the English language”. This article discusses Loves concern about teen text messaging, and the habits that she feels will affect their academic ability. In this article Love mainly discusses how teenagers abbreviate words, and use poor grammar while texting. She supports her opinion with a recent study posted at Cnn.com in April of 2007. This study showed that texting does indeed have many effects on language in generally. Some of these effects include, “"improper grammar, spelling, and all rhetoric elements that comprise many college papers and academic writing.” Love recognizes the fact that people have to adjust to changes in communication, but questions whether it is worth its negative effects on language.
Bullying has always been a common issue amongst teenagers, but more recently has become a problem via text messaging. The article “Text Bullying” by Kathy Brock is informing readers of the seriousness of this new trend. Brock explains that students are sending mean comments, threats, pictures, videos and nasty chain mail through text messages. These texts are very harmful to ones self-esteem especially because they can be anonymous, blocked and widely distributed. The new trend has been picked up by bullies because sending a threat is only a few thumb clicks away. There is no personally contact or fear of being known. It is an issue that Brock explains is spreading through schools worldwide and needs to be stopped.

Together these articles from the underlying argument that teenagers over use of texting have more negative effects then positive. It is common knowledge that text messaging has gained startling popularity with teens. I myself am a teenager that was swept up in the wave of this new form of communication. To be perfectly honest in a typical day I receive around 100 texts and reply almost as much. Starting out with this bias, it was interesting to see research such a topic and to see what I came up with. After reading these articles and learning about this cohesive argument I would have to say I completely agree with these authors.
I strongly agree with the argument that there are more negative effects then positive that comes from teen text messaging. One of the major issues concerning this debate as addressed in the first article "Teen Driver Menace: Text-Messaging" by Steve Vogel, is that texting causes danger on the roads. I agree with this argument because of my own personal experiences. Just the other day, I was entering the high school parking lot. As I turned left to find a spot, one of my 17 year old friends nearly collided head on while attempting to multi task at the wheel. I slammed on my horn to get her attention, just in time for her to swerve back into her lane. I asked her what the hell she was trying to do driving with no hands and sending a text. Is sending one more text more important than focusing on the road, and keeping others and yourself safe? Just think, if my friend had attempted this irresponsible act on a 40mph road, the consequences could be a lot more harm full then the near incident in the 5 mph parking lot! Just think, Innocent children could be riding their bike on the side walk, unaware that some negligent teenager may come swerving into them while sending an unimportant text! This is a growing issue, Vogel's article quoted the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, "that distracted drivers account for almost 80% of all crashes and 65% of near-crashes in the United States. (April 20, 2008)
The second article gives another reason as to why text messaging has dominating negative effects. I defiantly would agree with Corinne Love, that texting is damaging the English language, and effecting teenagers academic skills. This was the main point of her article, “The Hazardous Effects of Text Messaging”. Not only do I agree with the points she made but I would also like to emphasize them from a teenagers prospective. As I said before I text message quite a lot per day. One of the ways I feel texting maybe hurting teen’s use of language is the crazy amount of abbreviating and misuse of punctuation. It’s kind of like the method coaches use. For example, a basketball coach may have his players shoot 300 free throws repetitively every day. The idea being that after a while they will shoot this way without thinking. What I'm trying to say is that if a teenager sends 200 texts per day using abbreviation, poor grammar, and lack of punctuation, Wont this become instinct? Personally I find myself abbreviating words in paper and in my speech, in the same way that I text. Isn't it common sense that the more a person does something, the more likely they may do it unconsciously? Another reason I feel texting will affect students academically is that; texting makes it so easy to cheat. Teens can slip their phone under their desks and ask friends test questions. There are also many cyber numbers people can text question and receive Google results!
The third article talked about text bullying. I defiantly agree that this is a horrible effect that comes from teen texting, that out ways the positive effects. In the same way that driving and texting can take lives, so can text bulling. After researching this side of the argument, I read many papers about teenagers that have committed suicide as a result of being bullied. This is a serious problem that swayed me far away from the idea that teen texting had more positive effect then negative. The article “Text Bullying” by Kathy Brock gave startling statistics of the number of teens being bullied.
I'm not saying that teens text messaging has all bad affects. But there are a startling number of negative aspects that have serious results. I understand that text messaging gives teens a more convenient way to stay in touch with parents and maybe even save them from a dangerous situation. But I do feel there is a time and a place for texting. I feel texting messaging should be banned while driving, and in the class room. Also parents should help regulate how often their children are texting and maybe even the contents of their texts, if they feel that there is conflict between other kids. These measurements would help provide a safer texting environment for teens. And also help lower the number of negative effects of teen texting messaging that I feel over whelm the positive effects.

Portfolio-final

“Endure the F word!”

It is common knowledge that in order to pass a class at the high school or college level, a student must achieve a certain grade level. If this is not achieved the consequence includes failing the class, and having to retake it the following year or semester. This is the main issue being discussed by Mary Sherry in the article “In praise of the F word”. Her main objective in this paper is to distinguish the importance of parent and teacher coherence that it is in the better good of the child to stick to the pass or fail method. She implies that if teachers pass student on grounds other then academic ability, or parents do the child’s homework so they pass, that it will hurt the child in the long run.

I strongly agree with Sherry when she implies that passing a student based on criteria other than knowing the material, does in fact hurt the student in the long run. I agree with Sherry because my own personal experiences confirm this. When I was in the ninth grade my algebra two teacher passed me knowing fully that I had left his class the same way I came in. I didn’t know diddly squat! I went on the next year cheating off of friends to get by. I didn’t know last year’s information so how could I possibly be ready for the next level? I am now in math analysis two years later, and am struggling to keep above a 78%. If I could do it again I really wish I had been failed and not allowed to move to the next level. This would have stung at first but I now know it would have helped me in the long run.

I also agree with Sherry when she says parent should support the teacher’s decision to fail a student, if they have not learned the material. I say this because I can put myself into the shows of those of my friends who have been in this situation. My friend Ian was struggling immensely to keep up in his writing class. Instead of his parents understanding the importance of learning the material, they urged their daughter to help write Ian’s essays. Of course his grade picked up and he was able to pass. His parent didn’t want an F to show up on his college application, and thought it was disgraceful to flunk a class. But does urging a child to cheat help in the long run? The answer is no. Ian continued to struggle in writing and never learned the writing skills he need to comprise a good essay. It also gave him the impression that when you can’t do something yourself it is okay to cheat and use others hard work as his own. This is a horrible lesson that will affect him throughout life. Ian is also given the notion from his parents that he isn’t good enough for their standards.

In Sherry’s article she asserts that, “Flunking as a regular policy has just as much merit today as it did two generations ago. We must review the threat of flunking and see it as it really is—a positive teaching tool.” What Sherry is saying is that flunking is a positive device that has worked for many years, and in actuality has very positive effects. I agree with Sherry on this point and I feel it needs emphasizing due to the fact that some people don’t understand its importance. The system of flunking works in many great ways. I feel it motivates kids to do their best because it works as a threat. Who want to be the senior in a freshman class? If the child understands the consequence doesn’t it put a fire under their seat to do their best? As a student, I sure believe it does. This also works as a great tool, because it weeds out the kids that don’t understand the material. This keeps them from having to go through the agony of struggling at the next level when they really aren’t ready for it. Imagine if there was no system put in place to fail those kids that aren’t at a high enough academic ability to progress. Would you want a heart surgeon working on you if he or she only got their credentials because of laps in a failed system? I would think not, that is ludicrous. This is why the method of flunking works so well. Every one gains from this method of failing, especially the child. They need to get proper help to reach academic ability, how can this happen if a teacher passes a student who isn’t ready?

In Sherry’s article she states, “it would mean facing the tough reality that passing kids who haven’t learned the material—while it might save them grief for the short term—dooms them to long term illiteracy” This quote shows that passing a student who isn’t ready has many negative repercussions. I touched on this point earlier in this essay but would like to point out the long-term effect pertaining to the student’s grades. It is obvious that high school classes start out at a certain level and get harder as the student advances to the next level. This is apparent in almost all academic classes. I would like to point out the effect of this theory on the student grades. For example Sally is a freshman in high school. She was struggling in Spanish one and had an F. The teacher gave her extra credit so that she could at least pass the class with a low D. The next year Sally is in Spanish two struggling more immensely having not learned the information needed for the class. Because of this she again receives a very poor grade. Now her GPA is suffering. Had her Spanish one teacher failed her, she could have retaken the class and pass with an A. Next year shed would take Spanish two knowing the contents needed to succeed and could then get an A. What I mean by this is that if a teacher passes a student who isn’t academically ready it will immensely affect their grades in the long wrong. If they fail them they can re-teach the needed information, which sets them up to succeed.

Overall I firmly stand behind Sherry and her article ““In Praise of the F Word”. It is much better to fail a student then to pass them and watch them sink. There is obviously irrefutable evidence that supports this claim. I agree that parents and teachers need to stand strong behind the tool of failing student who have not reached the excepted academic level. By failing these students it saves them from much grief and aggravation in the long run. Although it may hurt the parents to see their child being failed, they must remember that it’s for their child’s own good. And that there are many consequences that come from passing a student who isn’t ready.

final portfolio letter

Dear Writing Department,

The first day I received my long awaited grading rubric back, I had a few choice words I wanted to tell Craig, but held my tongue. Here I had spent a good portion of my week revising the first essay and finally turned it in, with the hopes of receiving at least an 85. But that wasn't the case. Looking down at my paper I saw a score I really wasn't proud of, and didn't feel reflected the time and effort I had put into it. This was a long time ago. And these feeling towards Craig were definatly out of ingnorance. See, I started out my time in writing 101 as a high school running start student, unaware of the major differences between high school writing, and college level writing. And boy, Ill tell you I was in for a rude awakening!

The difference I learned between high school writing and college writ ting were, that I actually had to sound like my self. As Craig put it, Stop sounding like writing is an out of body experience and you are some robotic, generalising...! You get the point. It may seem weird to those that haven't been in a high school writing class for quite some time. But to be honest, in high school your supposed to sound like some robot who's reciting Websters dictionary. Hell, as long as you have five paragraphs, some fancy words and a catchy title, you've got your self an A. I used to pop out papers such as those like a toaster, and called it a day. But as I came to find out college rubrics had strange new things called hooks, thesies, description, and organisation, just to name a few. These are some of the critical writing strategies that comprise college level writing. I started out my time in writing 101 oblivious of those components. They were definatly my weaknesses. But after much hard work, practice and help from a great instructor, I finally feel I have reached a level in writing 101 that I can be very proud of.

The essays included in my portfolio are the ones I feel demonstrate my strengths as a writer the most. These include essay number three and essay number four. It has taken me three essays to do it, but I finally feel I have turned my weaknesses I mentions above, into my overall strengths. The title to my third essay was "A march for equality". Unlike my previous essays, "A march for equality" started out with a good hook, followed with a strong thesis, rhetoric strategies and organisation. I felt like I sounded less robotic and more like myself. Mainly because I was arguing my point, and was interested in my topic. One example that I feel demonstrate my use of a good hook is, "Love has no gender. "There I’m finished!" Shouted Bella as she added the final touches to the poster. "That looks fantastic!" Exclaimed Kellie in excitement. They gathered their things and headed out of their townhouse and into their car. The couple was off to Downtown Seattle where the 2008 march for gay marriage was being held." My intro is a narrative. I did this so that it would draw in the reader and give them a clear picture of what the argument was, that I later discuss. The other skill I demonstrated well was a clear thesis. An example of this is in my third paragraph, "I firmly believe that marriage should not be restricted to only male and female couples." This is clear and to the point, and is definatly arguable. Which I feel made it a good thesis.

My fourth essay also shows areas I believe are my strengths. My title for essay four is, "Text messaging; A teenage epidemic!" This essay shows my use of many rhetoric strategies, an example of this is the anecdote I use in paragraph five line six. Here I tell a story that emphasises my point that texting and driving is very dangerous, it demonstrates my point that texting has more negative affects then positive ones. Another strength that I feel is shown in this essay is my appeal to emotion. An example of this is quote, "Just think, Innocent children could be riding their bike on the side walk, unaware that some negligent teenager may come swerving into them while sending an unimportant text!" Throughout this essay, I use appeal to logic, emotion, rhetorical questions, and a clear thesis. These are areas I used to be very bad at, and now feel are my strengths.

Over all I chose these essays because I am proud of the growth they demonstrate, in comparison to the way I started out. In the first few essays I never had strong thesis, description or other retoric strategies. I feel essay three and four demonstrate these writing skills and many more, that I have developed over time in writing 101. In the beginning of writing 101 I started out as an ignorant writer, unaware of all the elements it take to compose a well writ ting essay. I had many weaknesses in these category. I feel the two essays in my portfolio, demonstrate how I have transformed my weaknesses into strengths which make me very proud.

Thank you for you time. I hope you enjoy reading this portfolio.

Sincerely,
Amber Caughron

Reflective lettter

Dear Writing Department,

The first day I recieved my longly awaited grading rubric back, I had a few choice words I wanted to tell Craig, but held my tongue. Here I had spent a good portion of my week revising the first essay and finally turned it in, with the hopes of recieving at least an 85. But that wasn't the case. Looking down at my paper I saw a score I really wasn't pround of, and didn't feel reflected the time and effort I had put into it. This was a long time ago. And these feeling torwards Craig were definatly out of ingnorangce. See, I started out my time in writing 101 as a highschool running start student, unware of the major differences between highschool writing, and college level writting. And boy, Ill tell you I was in for a rude awakening!

The difference I learned between highschool writing and college writting were, that I actually had to sound like my self. As Craig put it, Stop sounding like writing is an out of body experience and you are some robotic, generalising...! You get the point. It may seem weird to those that haven't been in a highschool writing class for quite some time. But to be honest, in highschool your supposed to sound like some robot whos reciting websters dictionary. Hell, as long as you have five paraghraphs, some fancy words and a catchy title, you've got your self an A. I used to pop out papers such as those like a toaster, and called it a day. But as I came to find out college rubrics had strange new things called hooks, thesies, description, and organisation, just to name a few. These are some of the criticle writing stratagies that comprise college level writing. I started out my time in writing 101 oblivious of those components. They were definatly my weeknesses. But after much hard work, practice and help from a great instructer, I finaly feel I have reached a level in writing 101 that I can be very proud of.

The essays included in my portfolio are the ones I feel demonstrate my strengths as a writer the most. These include essay number three and essay number four. It has taken me three essays to do it, but I finally feel I have turned my weaknesses I mentions above, into my overall strengths. The title to my third essay was "A march for equality". Unlike my previous essays, "A march for equality" started out with a good hook, followed with a strong thesis, retoric stratagies and organisation. I felt like I sounded less robotic and more like myself. Mainly because I was arguing my point, and was interested in my topic. One example that I feel demonstrate my use of a good hook is, "Love has no gender. "There I’m finished!" Shouted Bella as she added the final touches to the poster. "That looks fantastic!" Exclaimed Kellie in excitement. They gathered their things and headed out of their townhouse and into their car. The couple was off to Downtown Seattle where the 2008 march for gay marriage was being held." My intro is a narrative. I did this so that it would draw in the reader and give them a clear picture of what the arguement was, that I later discuss. The other skill I demonstrated well was a clear thesis. An example of this is in my third paragraph, "I firmly believe that marriage should not be restricted to only male and female couples." This is clear and to the point, and is definatly arguable. Which I feel made it a good thesis.

My fourth essay also shows areas I believe are my strengths. My title for essay four is, "Text messaging; A teenage epidemic!" This essay shows my use of many retoric stratagies, an example of this is the annecdote I use in paragraph five line six. Here I tell a story that emphasises my point that texting and driving is very dangerous, it domonstrates my point that texting has more negative affects then positive ones. Another strength that I feel is shown in this esssay is my appeal to emotion. An example of this is quote, "Just think, Innocent children could be riding their bike on the side walk, unaware that some negligent teenager may come swerving into them while sending an unimportant text!" Throughout this essay, I use appeal to logic, emotion, rehtorical questions, and a clear thesis. These are areas I used to be very bad at, and now feel are my strengths.

Over all I chose these essays because I am proud of the growth they demonstrate, in comparison to the way I started out. In the first few essays I never had strong thesisis, description or other retorical stratagies. I feel essay three and four domonstrate these writing skills and many more, that I have developed over time in writing 101. In the begining of wrtiting 101 I started out as an ignorant writer, anaware of all the elements it take to compose a well writting essay. I had many weeknesses in these catagory. I feel the two essays in my portfolio, demonstrate how I have transformed my weaknesses into strenghs which make me very proud.

Thank you for you time. I hope you enjoy reading this portfolio.

Sincerely,
Amber Caughron

essay 4 close to final draft

Text messaging; A teenage epidemic!

“iz txt1ng t@king ovr the t33n population?” Nowadays approximately 60 percent of all teens in the nation have a cell phone, as reported by U.S cellular statistics. Typically teens send about 188 or more texts per month and according to the article “Teen Driver Menace: Text-Messaging Studies Show Texting While Driving Is Epidemic” this distraction is becoming very dangerous on the roads. Steve Vogel, the author of this article stresses the dangers of multi tasking at the wheel by such means as text messaging. Shockingly Vogel explains that texting while driving is right up there with driving under the influence. The main point of his essay is to educate the reader about the hazards of text-driving and make a call to action in respect to stopping this neglect act, which has taken the lives of many in our society.


Another common opinion about texting is that it is affecting the English language. “The Hazardous Effects of Text Messaging” by Corina Love declares that text messaging is “negatively affecting the English language”. This article discusses Loves concern about teen text messaging, and the habits that she feels will affect their academic ability. In this article Love mainly discusses how teenagers abbreviate words, and use poor grammar while texting. She supports her opinion with a resent study posted at Cnn.com in April of 2007. This study showed that texting does indeed have many effects on language in generally. Some of these effects include, “"improper grammar, spelling, and all rhetoric elements that comprise many college papers and academic writing.” Love recognizes the fact that people have to adjust to changes in communication, but questions whether it is worth its negative effects on language.


Bullying has always been a common issue amongst teenagers, but more recently has become a problem via text messaging. The article “Text Bullying” by Kathy Brock is informing readers of the seriousness of this new trend. Brock explains that students are sending mean comments, threats, pictures, videos and nasty chain mail through text messages. These texts are very harmful to ones self-esteem especially because they can be anonymous, blocked and widely distributed. The new trend has been picked up by bullies because sending a threat is only a few thumb clicks away. There is no personally contact or fear of being known. It is an issue that Brock explains is spreading through schools world wide and needs to be stopped.


Together these articles form the underlying argument that teenagers over use of texting have more negative effects then positive. It is common knowledge that text messaging has gained startling popularity with teens. I myself am a teenager that was swept up in the wave of this new form of communication. To be perfectly honest in a typical day I receive around 100 texts and reply almost as much. Starting out with this bias, it was interesting to see research such a topic and to see what I came up with. After reading these articles and learning about this cohesive argument I would have to say I completely agree with these authors.


I strongly agree with the argument that there are move negative effects then positive that come from teen text messaging. One of the major issues concerning this debate as addressed in the first article "Teen Driver Menace: Text-Messaging" by Steve Vogel, is that texting causes danger on the roads. I agree with this argument because of my own personal experiences. Just the other day, I was entering the high school parking lot. As I turned left to find a spot, one of my 17 year old friends nearly collided head on while attempting to multi task at the wheel. I slammed on my horn to get her attention, just in time for her to swerve back into her lane. I asked her what the hell she was trying to do driving with no hands and sending a text. Is sending one more text more important then focusing on the road, and keeping others and your self safe? Just think, if my friend had attempted this irresponsible act on a 40mph road, the consequences could be alot more harm full then the near incident in the 5 mph parking lot! Just think, Innocent children could be riding their bike on the side walk, unaware that some negligent teenager may come swerving into them while sending an unimportant text! This is a growing issue, Vogel's article quoted the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, "that distracted drivers account for almost 80% of all crashes and 65% of near-crashes in the United States. (April 20, 2008)


The second article gives another reason as to why text messaging has dominating negative effects. I definatly would agree with Corinna Love, that texting is damaging the English language, and effecting teenagers academic skills. Which was the main point of her article,“The Hazardous Effects of Text Messaging”. Not only do I agree with the points she made but I would also like to emphasize them from a teenagers prospective. As I said before I text message quite a lot per day. One of the ways I feel texting maybe hurting teens use of language is the crazy amount of abbreviating and miss use of punctuation. Its kind of like the method coaches use. For example, a basketball coach may have his players shoot 300 free throws repetitively every day. The idea being that after a while they will shoot this way without thinking. What I'm trying to say is that if a teenager sends 200 texts per day using abbreviation, poor grammar, and lack of punctuation, Wont this become instinct? Personally I find my self abbreviating words in paper and in my speech, in the same way that I text. Isn't it common sence that the more a person does something, the more likely they may do it unconsciously? Another reason I feel texting will effect students academically is that, texting makes it so easy to cheat. Teens can slip their phone under their desks and ask friends test questions. There are also many cyber numbers people can text question and receive google results!


The third article talked about text bullying. I defiantly agree that this is a horrible effect that comes from teen texting, that out ways the positive affects. In the same way that driving and texting can take lives, so can text bulling. After researching this side of the argument, I read many papers about teenagers that have comminted suicide as a result of being bullied. This is a serious problem that swayed me far away from the idea that teen texting had more positive effect then negative. The article “Text Bullying” by Kathy Brock gave startling statistics of the number of teens being bullied.


I'm not saying that teens text messaging has all bad affects. But there are a startling number of negative aspects that have serious results. I understand that text messaging gives teens a more convenient way to stay in touch with parents and maybe even save them from a dangerous situation. But I do feel there is a time and a place for texting. I feel texting messaging should be banned while driving, and in the class room. Also parents should help regulate how often their children are texting and maybe even the contents of their texts, if they feel that there is conflict between other kids. These measurements would help provide a safer texting environment for teens. And also help lower the number of negative effects of teen texting messaging that I feel over whelm the positive effects.

essay 4 article summaries

1) The Hazardous Effects of Text Messaging
by Corinne Love

Love, Corinne. "The Hazardous Effects of Text Messaging." Viewpoints Online Edition. 10 May 2005. Viewpoints Online. 10 Mar 2009 .

This article by Corina love support the argument that text messaging is negatively effecting the English language. Love points out that while texting it is impossible to have lengthy conversations like those over the phone, so people tend to abbreviate words to the extreme. By doing this people are developing bad habits which negatively effects their use their vocabulary and grammar. Love states "If students can only discern between words such as "kewl," "iz" (why would anyone change "is" to "iz" is beyond the realm of logic, lyk omg) and therefore we can make simple words practically simple to the point of absurdity. Love referres to a recent Irish study posted at cnn.com in Aprill 2007 which reports that texting has negative effect on language in general. Some of these effects includes "proper grammar, spelling, and rhetoric all elements that comprise many college papers and academic writing. Although texting is another form of tecnologie people have to adapt to, Love asks, "
But OMG wrtng lyk diz cn b srta annyng, dun u thnk?"


2)

reflective letter

• comparison of beginning grades till now. & how it shows improvement.
• problems with essay one such as transitions, and how much better they got in essay 2
• improvements in hooks and voice, audience awareness
  

refletive essay #3

For essay number three I chose to write about the argument of gay marriage. The picture I chose to represent this topic was a march for equality picture taken in Down town Seattle. I began my essay with a narrative of two hypothetical people from the picture. This was useful in my essay because it worked as a great hook and filled the narrative requirement of the essay. The rest of the essay I argued my feeling about this issue using rhetorical questions, my opinion and some facts that I found about the issue. Another strategy I used that made my paper stronger was to refer back to the characters in the beginning of the essay.

There were also many thing I would change about my essay.

essay 3 final draft

March to equality

http://flickr.com/photos/juli-p/3033598296/

Love has no gender. "There I’m finished!" Shouted Bella as she added the final touches to the poster. "That looks fantastic!" Exclaimed Kellie in excitement. They gathered their things and headed out of their townhouse and into their car. The couple was off to Downtown Seattle where the 2008 march for gay marriage was being held. After the forty-five minute drive, which was filled with anticipation, they finally reached their desired destination. The couple parked their car and walked towards Pine Street where the march was taking place, armed with vibrant, meaningful signs. As they turned the corner, angry heterosexual couples were waiting like a brick wall, on the outskirts of the pro-gay marriage protestors. These anti-gay marriage protestors swarmed around them like angry bees jeering and yelling offensive slogans. A middle aged Caucasian man and wife thrust their joint hands with golden wedding bands in Kellie’s face and shouted, "This is what God intended, go home!" Bella and Kellie grasped hands, and slowly made their way through the barrier of the opposing crowd and finally entered the march with their fellow pro- gay marriage marchers. Bella looked towards Kellie and gave her a knowing smile. They had made it through the worst part and were excited for the rest of the day. They were in love after all and were ready to contribute in supporting the push for gay marriage.

This picture captures the enthusiasm and excitement of thousands of people protesting for the right of gay marriage. It was taken on a warm November day in Seattle , where tons of people marched and cried out in hope of overturning the laws restricting what they feel is their civil rights. Although the picture doesn't focus on the individual faces of each person it allows the viewer to see the power of numbers and the many colorful picket signs of the protesters. The first thing that catches my eye as I look at this picture is the white picket sign with the rainbow in the bottom center of the picture. Then I take in the amount of people fanning out to the top of the street, and last the center building that could possibly be a church or chapel. These three things show the main essence of the picture, which is, people fighting for their rights, and the controversial debate of gay marriage. The photographer of this piece is Julie P. The photo was taken at a protest in Seattle , Washington on November 15, 2008 ..

I firmly believe that marriage should not be restricted to only male and female couples. Like Bella and Kellie, there are many gay and lesbian couples that love one another and live together the same as any other couple. So why then should they not be able to wed like a normal couple? One common argument that is used to defend denying gays the right to marry is that "Marriage is for raising children, and since a gay couple cannot have children they shouldn't be able to marry." But if this is the case then shouldn't straight couples that are infertile be denied as well? People who use this argument against gays have a double standard. Straight older couples get married all the time and obviously cannot produce children any easier then a gay or lesbian couple. Also, although gays and lesbians cannot bear children the typical way, there are many other options such as artificial insemination, surrogate mothers and adoption. Also, many gay couples already have children through earlier involvements in a heterosexual relationship. Overall, it can be concluded that this argument that "marriage is for raising children" is weak and can be easily refuted. I think that having children is part of marriage but most importantly is the love that a couple shares.

A common question that arises among this issue is, "why is it important for gays to marry if they can still be in a relationship?" I think that it is very important for gays to be able to marry because it is a civil rights issue, and affects them in many ways. For example, Kellie and Bella have been together for seven years. They have bought a house together, share two cars and many other belongings. If anything were to happen to either one of them, even if they had a carefully drawn up will, these possessions can be taken by the family. Wills can be over turned by family members, and I have read that estates can be seized by family and sold, leaving the "surviving partner paying out mortgages." Another issue that arises from them not being able to marry is, hypothetically, if Bella were to get into a serious accident and ended up in the hospital, Kellie is not guaranteed the right to visit and/or make decisions regarding her treatment. The current law that hospitals follow makes it so that the family is in charge of who visits the victim. This is a major issue because if there is any tension between the partner and the victims family, the partner maybe excluded from the hospital. Wouldn't you want to be able to visit your loved one and put into place the crucial decisions you and your partner have discussed? There are many other rights that gay couples are being excluded from by not being able to wed. These can be life threatening and very harmful to the couple. They also leave enumerated financial and legal problems for gay couples.

Another common argument against gay marriage is that it will degrade the institution of marriage. To me, marriage is suppose to be between two people who love one another, are true to each other, and want to share the rest of their lives together. I feel like this combination can be found in any race, sex or age.. Who is to say that a man and a woman are the only ones that fill these roles? If people are worried about the sanctity of marriage they should take a look at the divorce rates, affairs and abuse that goes on in marriages. I think that excluding obviously loving couples from marriage is pointless and prejudice.


Other arguemenst against gay marriage include that the gay life style is not to be encouraged. This is the biggest load of crap. It has been proven that similar to how heterosexual people are attracted to one another, so are gay and lesbian couples. How can something that is natural be shoved under the rug and told to be ignored. Would any straight couple want to be told to ignore their feelings for the person they love? Why then would they do the same to a gay or lesbian couple? This is similar to the issue of bi-racial marriages some years ago. It is simply a matter of discriminating against a minority group, which to me is intolerable. Just because someone else’s lifestyle is different from there own, doesn't mean that a person has the right to discriminate against them.


There are also many benefits to gay marriage. One of these benefits includes child adoption. If gay marriage is to be legalized there would be more families adopting children, which would result in less homeless children.. I feel that this opportunity to provide stable, loving families for those children lacking proper homes is a great benefit. Another pro that would be a result from gay marriage is a decrease in aids and other sexually transmitted diseases. Andrew Sullivan wrote in The New Republic, "(Gay marriage) would also, in the wake of AIDS, qualify as a genuine public health measure. Those conservatives who deplore promiscuity among some homosexuals should be among the first to support it." The idea behind this is that if gays are allowed to marry there would be more long term relationships, which would result in slowing sexually transmitted diseases common to all sexualities.

Gay marriage is a very controversial debate that has many arguemants on both sides. I feel it is very important to get educated about the issue because it is somthing that effects lots of peoples. What the issue boils down to is fear which is a result of a minority having different veiws from the majority. The majority is hetero sexual groups that feel intimidated by the idea of its social norms being recuntruceted. But it is improtant to evaluate both sides and examine the good things that can come from this diverse issue. Overall I believe there are alot of false beliefs that people against gay marriage have that come from ignorance. I hope that in the future our society will have more equality and equal rights offered to all orientations.

Essay 3

http://flickr.com/photos/juli-p/3033598296/

Love has no gender. "There im finished!" Shouted Bella as she added the final touches to the poster. "That looks fantastic!" Exclaimed Kellie in excitement. They gathered their things and headed out of their townhouse and into their car. The couple were off to Downtown Seattle where the 2008 march for gay marriage was being held. After the forty-five minute drive, which was filled with anticipation, they finally reached their desired destination. The couple parked their car and walked towards Pine Street where the march was taking place, armed with vibrant, meaningfull signs. As they turned the corner, angry hedero sexual couples were waiting like a brickwall, on the out skirts of the pro gay marriage protestors. These anti-gay people swarmed around them like angery bees jeering and yelling offensive slogans. A middle aged caucasion man and wife thrusted their joint hands with golden wedding bands in kellies face and shouted, "this is what God intended, go home!" Bella and kellie grasped hands, and slowely made their way through the barrier of the opposing crowed and finally entered the march with their fellow pro- gay marriage marchers. Bella looked towards Kellie and gave her a knowing smile. They had made it through the worst part and were excited for the rest of the day. They were in love after all and were ready to contribute and join into the excited agenda of the days march.


This picture captures the enthusiasm and excitement of thousands of people protesting for the right of gay marriage. It was taken on a warm November day in Seattle, where tons of people marched and cried out in hope of over turning the laws restricting what they feel is their civil rights. Although the picture doesn't focus on the individual faces of each person it allows the viewer to see the power of numbers and the many colorful picket signs of the protesters. The first thing that catches my eye as I look at this picture is the white picket sign with the rainbow in the bottom center of the picture. Then I take in the amount of people fanning out to the top of the street, and last the center building that could possibly be a church or chapel. These three things show the main essence of the picture, which is, people fighting for their rights, and the controversial debate of gay marriage. The photographer of this piece is Julie P. The photo was taken at a protest in Seattle Washington November 15, 2008.

rough draft essay 3

http://flickr.com/photos/juli-p/3033598296/



This picture captures the enthusiasm and excitement of thousands of people protesting for the right of gay marriage. It was taken on a warm November day in Seattle, where tons of people marched and cried out in hope of over turning the laws restricting what they feel is their civil rights. Although the picture doesn't focus on the individual faces of each person it allows the viewer to see the power of numbers and the many colorful picket signs of the protesters. The first thing that catches my eye as I look at this picture is the white picket sign with the rainbow in the bottom center of the picture. Then I take in the amount of people fanning out to the top of the street, and last the center building that could possibly be a church or chapel. These three things show the main essence of the picture, which is, people fighting for their rights, and the controversial debate of gay marriage. The photographer of this piece is Julie P. The photo was taken at a protest in Seattle Washington November 15, 2008. The picture was posted on flickr and has received lots of positive feedback. The exact location of the picture is on Pine Street in downtown Seattle.

Inside this massive group of people lies a lesbian couple named Bella and Kellie. The two women have been dating since their junior year of college and have been together for eight years. Eventually they would like to marry and raise a family if their own.

• lots more to add, I'm going to incorporated the argument of the pic through conversations at the protest. I still need to edit. Any suggestions?

mid term reflection

I think I had a good start on the mid term but I ran out of time. If I had more time to work on it, I would add a paraghraph saying what experience I have that disagree with Wolff's description of good writting. Also I would add a conclusion. I feel that my experience with the mid term will help me whan I take the final.

mid term

“Everything you write has to seem good to you and just get it out. Let it inspire you to the next sentence and the next scene and the next character. And in that way, you discover what your story is. But if you're looking over your own shoulder all the time, crossing every other sentence out, and holding every other word up to the light as you're composing, that can lead you to become kind of constipated as a writer.” This is an excerpt from Tobias Wolff’s passage which shows a very common rule of writing. Basically what Wolff says throughout his passage is that when writing a person should get out all of their ideas and thoughts in the first draft and later edit their writing as if using a fine toothed comb. If a person starts out revising every sentence they write, nothing gets accomplished and the good thought are lost. There are many experiences from my first quarter in Writing 101, in which I can identify with Wolff’s description of writing and also a few that don’t support this view.

One part of Wolff’s view that I can identify with is when He said “Everything you write has to seem good to you and just get it out. Let it inspire you to the next sentence and the next scene and the next character. And in that way, you discover what your story is” This to me means that a person should get everything out on paper, without being judgmental of their writing or double checking what they’ve written. It means a person should let the writing flow. This way their paper can develop into a well composed rough draft. The way I can identify with this is by an experience I had writing a paper about my hero. I started out this paper by judging every sentence I wrote, unsure if I was including the requirements. By writing this way I sounded robotic and wasn’t telling my story. I wasn’t letting my writing flow or develop into the story I actually wanted to tell. After realizing this I took a pen and paper and rapidly wrote everything I was thinking the way it happened. I jotted down sentence after sentence without any hindrance. This experience of mine coincides with Wolff’s description of good writing, and is something I believe is the first step in developing a great paper.

Another point I can identify with Wolff is, “Later on, you have to look at your work with a very cold eye, as if you were editing someone else's.” I can identify with this quote because I believe that after a writer gets everything written down, they should go back and edit their paper very harshly. In my experience with writing the hero story, I learned it is important to edit your paper not only for spelling but for many other aspects as well. It is important that the writer keeps the reader in mind by making sure they have a hook, good description and a clear thesis. The writer should edit the paper as if It is someone else’s because although the writer may like their story, there may be bits and pieces in the story that doesn’t necessarily add to the paper and should be taken out. I used to not edit my own papers as harshly as others, but through this experience, I have learned that editting mine harsher is essential to writting a good paper.

final edited 2nd rough draft

A man of many marvels


The way I came upon my hero was through an experience I had when I was in the sixth grade, up untill the summer before ninth grade. As a kid I was the typical tom boy. I played a lot of sports so most of my closest friends were boys. One in particular was my friend Levi. Our friendship began in the sixth grade and were even better friends in middle school. This is who I met my hero through, Levi's step dad. His name was Mark. Mark was the rock of the family. He was a kind, caring, fun, sensitive person, who was always there for anyone Mark sensed needed him. He had a welcoming appearance like a big teddy bear, whose smile could warm the heart of any person. I was quickly swept up and in admiration at how amazing and lucky this family was for having a person like this in their lives. Mark played an important role in my life. Ive never had a good relationship with my dad. So I lacked the father figure that is essential in a girls life. Mark filled this void and was always there for me. Mark shaped the way I think of heroes. Among many other things a hero is loving, supporting and inspiring.

Some of the ways Mark demonstrated being loving was by including me in his family, and treating me like a daughter. Soon after I met Levi's family, we all became very close. I was surprised to find that his family liked me as much as I liked them. Over a short period of time Marks family became my second family. They invited me to all sorts of family functions. Whether it was a family dinner, a day trip, a vacation or even just watching a movie, or going to a concert. I was always included. I felt loved and welcome when ever I was with the family, especially by Mark. He would always offer a hug or a comforting word when ever I came around. He was like the father I wished I had, and treated me like one of his own children. I remember one time in-particular that really made me feel loved; We were at a huge dinner with twenty or thirty of their close family members and friends. Mark walked around the house and introduced me as his long lost daughter. He told every one we talked to about how I was "the new addition to the family" and many other things that made my heart swell with emotion. It was actions like this and how I was included in the family as one of their own that always made me feel loved. This is what made Mark such a big part of my life, and why I consider him my hero.

Another reason for Mark being my hero was how he always believed in me and supported me. I remember one time in-particular that demonstrated this point. I had spent the day with Levi's family and was getting ready to leave. As I walked into the kitchen Mark started a conversation with me about what I wanted to do after high school. I remember telling him I knew I wanted to go to college but wasn't sure which one yet. As our conversation went on, Mark said something that has stuck with me over the years. "You can do anything you set your mind to, you're smart and persistent. Any help I can give you I will, I'll always be there to help and support you." He said these words with a big smile and a hug. I remember him encouraging me about going to college and saying how he would always be there to talk to when I needed him. It was things like this that made him a supporting pillar in my life. No matter what we were doing, Mark always had time to talk to me and encourage me.

Like I mentioned, being inspiring is also one of the qualities that I think defines a hero. Mark inspired me in numerous ways. I admired the way he treated others, and how he was always able to make time for family. I admired how he treated others for many reasons. He always said positive things, and was welcoming to everyone. This is something that has inspired me to do the same to others in my life. The thing I found most inspiring was the time he made for family. I can literally remember every time I spent with him and the family. Mark always made time. Every Friday was family night. I can remember every dinner, boat or snowboarding day trip, every vacation. And most important just spending time at the house with one another. This is inspiring to me because it has taught me how important family is and how it can impact a persons life. This lesson is something I will implement latter in life when I start a family of my own.

My hero Mark passed away in July of 2006 from a heart attack, he was 49 years old. Losing Mark was the hardest thing Ive ever gone through. The time I spent with him created a closer relationship then I had with my own father. I was lucky to have been able to spend the best three years of my life with him and his family. It is unbelievable to me that anyone could impact my life in the way that he did. I am grateful for the time I spent with him in my life. A person like Mark is hard to come by. Mark will always be my hero even though he has passed. Because although he might physically have gone his memory will be with me forever. Having a loving, supporting, inspiring person like Mark has changed my life forever. I'm thankful to have him as my hero

final draft. 2nd essay

A man of many marvels

The way I came upon my hero was through an experience I had when I was in sixth grade up to the summer before the ninth grade. As a kid I was the typical tomboy. I played a lot of sports and most of my most of my closest friends were boys. One in particular was my friend Levi. We started being friends in sixth grade and were even better friends in middle school. This is who I met my hero through, Levi's step dad. His name was Mark. Mark was the rock of the family. He was a kind, caring, fun, sensitive person, who was always there for anyone he sensed needed him. He had a welcoming appearance like a big teddy bear, whose smile could warm the heart of any person. I was quickly swept up and in admiration at how amazing and lucky this family was for having a person like this in their lives. Mark played an important roll in my life. I’ve never had a good relationship with my dad. So I lacked the father figure that is important in a girl’s life. Mark filled this roll and was always there for me. Mark shaped the way I think of heroes. Among many things a hero is loving, supporting and inspiring.

One of the ways that Mark demonstrated being loving was by including me in his family, and treating me like a daughter. Soon after I met Levi's family, we all became very close. I was surprised to find that his family liked me as much as I liked them. Over a short period of time Marks family became my second family. They always invited me to all sorts of family functions. Whether it was a family dinner, a day trip, a vacation or even just watching a movie or going to a concert. I was always included. I always felt loved and welcome whenever I was with the family especially by Mark. He would always offer a hug or a comforting word whenever I came around. He was like the father I wish I had, and treated me like one of his own children. I remember one time in particular that really made me feel loved. We were at a huge dinner with around twenty or thirty of their close family members and friends. Mark walked around the house and introduced me as his long lost daughter. He told every one we talked to about how I was "the new addition to the family" and many other things that made my heart swell with emotions. It was things like this and how I was included in the family as one of their own that always made me feel loved. This is what made Mark such a big part of my life, and why I consider him my hero.

Another reason for Mark being my hero was how he always believed in me and supported me. I remember one time in particular that demonstrated this point. I had spent the day with Levi's family and was getting ready to leave. As I walked into the kitchen Mark started a conversation with me about what I wanted to do after high school. I remember telling him I knew I wanted to go to college but wasn't sure which one yet. As our conversation went on Mark said something that has stuck with me over the years. "You can do anything you set your mind to, your smart and persistent. Any help I can give you I will, Ill always be there to help and support you." He said these words with a big smile and a hug. I remember him encouraging me about going to college and saying how he would always be there to talk to when I needed him. It was things like this that made him a supporting pillar in my life. No matter what we were doing he always had time to talk to me and encourage me.

Like I mentioned, being inspiring is also one of the qualities that I think defines a hero. Mark inspired me in numerous ways. I admired the way he treated others, also how he was always able to make time for family. I say that I admired how he treated others for many reasons. He always said positive things, and was welcoming to everyone. This is something that has inspired me to do the same to others in my life. The thing I found most inspiring was the time he made for family. I can literally remember every time I spent with him and the family. Mark always made time. Every Friday was family night. I can remember every dinner, boat or snowboarding day trip, every vacation. And most importantly, chilling at the house spending time with one another. This is inspiring to me because it has taught me how important family is and how it can impact a person’s life. This lesson is something I will implement latter in life when I start a family of my own.

My hero Mark, passed away in July of 2006 from a heart attack, he was 49 years old. Loosing Mark was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. The time I spent with him created a closer relationship then I had with my own father. I was lucky to have been able to spend the best three years of my life with him and his family. It is unbelievable to me that anyone could impact my life in the way that he did. I am grateful for the time I spent with him in my life. A person like Mark is hard to come by. Mark will always be my hero even though he has passed. Because although he might physically have gone his memory will be with me forever. Having a loving, supporting, inspiring person like Mark has changed my life forever. I'm thankful to have him as my hero.

closest to finish draft. essay 2

A man of many marvels

The way I came upon my hero was through an experience I had when I was in sixth grade up to the summer before the ninth grade. As a kid I was the typical tom boy. I played a lot of sports and most of my most of my closest friends were boys. One in particular was my friend Levi. We started being friends in sixth grade and were even better friends in middle school. This is who I met my hero through, Levi's step dad. His name was Mark. Mark was the rock of the family. He was a kind, caring, fun, sensitive person, who was always there for anyone he sensed needed him. He had a welcoming appearance like a big teddy bear, whose smile could warm the heart of any person. I was quickly swept up and in admiration at how amazing and lucky this family was for having a person like this in their lives. Mark played an important roll in my life. Ive never had a good relationship with my dad. So I lacked the father figure that is important in a girls life. Mark filled this roll and was always there for me. Mark shaped the way I think of heroes. Among many things a hero is loving, supporting and inspiring.

One of the ways that Mark demonstrated being loving was by including me in his family, and treating me like a daughter. Soon after I met Levi's family, we all became very close. I was surprised to find that his family liked me as much as I liked them. Over a short period of time Marks family became my second family. They always invited me to all sorts of family functions. Whether it was a family dinner, a day trip, a vacation or even just watching a movie or going to a concert. I was always included. I always felt loved and welcome when ever I was with the family especially by Mark. He would always offer a hug or a comforting word when ever I came around. He was like the father I wish I had, and treated me like one of his own children. I remember one time in-particular that really made me feel loved. We were at a huge dinner with around twenty or thirty of their close family members and friends. Mark walked around the house and introduced me as his long lost daughter. He told every one we talked to about how I was "the new addition to the family" and many other things that made my heart swell with emotions. It was things like this and how I was included in the family as one of their own that always made me feel loved. This is what made Mark such a big part of my life, and why I consider him my hero.

Another reason for Mark being my hero was how he always believed in me and supported me. I remember one time in-particular that demonstrated this point. I had spent the day with Levi's family and was getting ready to leave. As I walked into the kitchen Mark started a conversation with me about what I wanted to do after high school. I remember telling him I knew I wanted to go to college but wasn't sure which one yet. As our conversation went on Mark said something that has stuck with me over the years. "You can do anything you set your mind to, your smart and persistent. Any help I can give you I will, Ill always be there to help and support you." He said these words with a big smile and a hug. I remember him encouraging me about going to college and saying how he would always be there to talk to when I needed him. It was things like this that made him a supporting pillar in my life. No matter what we were doing he always had time to talk to me and encourage me.

Like I mentioned, being inspiring is also one of the qualities that I think defines a hero. Mark inspired me in numerous ways. I admired the way he treated others, also how he was always able to make time for family. I say that I admired how he treated others for many reasons. He always said positive things, and was welcoming to everyone. This is something that has inspired me to do the same to others in my life. The thing I found most inspiring was the time he made for family. I can literally remember every time I spent with him and the family. Mark always made time. Every Friday was family night. I can remember every dinner, boat or snowboarding day trip, every vacation. And most important just chilling at the house spending time with one another. This is inspiring to me because it has taught me how important family is and how it can impact a persons life. This lesson is something I will implement latter in life when I start a family of my own.

My hero Mark passed away in July of 2006 from a heart attack, he was 49 years old. Loosing Mark was the hardest thing Ive ever gone through. The time I spent with him created a closer relationship then I had with my own father. I was lucky to have been able to spend the best three years of my life with him and his family. It is unbelievable to me that anyone could impact my life in the way that he did. I am grateful for the time I spent with him in my life. A person like Mark is hard to come by. Mark will always be my hero even though he has passed. Because although he might physically have gone his memory will be with me forever. Having a loving, supporting, inspiring person like Mark has changed my life forever. I'm thankful to have him as my hero.